I gave up on trying to get the kit and contacted alldiscountparts.com with the list of parts and asked what was actually in stock. I've ordered from them in the past (I assume all these parts websites are the same, using the same honda warehouses, and just charge different part and shipping prices). Anyways, they said everything but the jack was in-stock.
I ordered the wheel (42700-TX4-A51), foam (84545-3S5-A10), the bolt (74652-SDA-003), anchor (74650-T1W-A01) and 3 spacers (74685-TBA-A00) online. Since the jack (89310-S5A-013) is common to many hondas and acuras I just went to eBay and found one from a 2022 Civic Sedan in its foam tray with the tools - they seem to go for $140 or so. You can probably find this jack cheaper.
Once the wheel comes in I'll take it to a local tire shop and get a tire mounted on it. Didn't think there was much point in ordering a tire online and paying shipping when I'll have to take it somewhere to get it mounted anyways.
The foam is still stupid expensive. MSRP is $122, online it's $85-$90. I was tempted to order 84545-3S5-A00 instead since they have the same description and $30 seemed more reasonable for a piece of foam, but that's actually the foam block that we already have - the one that holds the inflator kit.
I would have saved money getting the modern spare (or value spare), but I wanted this to sit flush in the compartment, so $85 foam and OEM parts it is.